Joseph Smith

I have to admit: as a child/teenager/young adult, I found the value placed on having a testimony of Joseph Smith...well, somewhat troubling. Shouldn't there be a lot higher emphasis on having a real, living testimony of the Atonement or of God's love for us? After all, Smith himself taught of the Atonement: "all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it" (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 121).

I tabled this concern for a long time, and tried to focus my studies on doctrines I considered more important (principally the plan of salvation, the Atoning sacrifice of Jesus, and God's love for me).

Recently, I was sitting in stake conference and something clicked into place.
"a pillar of light above the brightness of the sun at noon day came down and rested upon me and I was filled with the spirit of God and the Lord opened the heavens upon me and I saw the Lord and he spake unto me, saying 'Joseph my son thy sins are forgiven thee. go thy way walk in my statutes and keep my commandments behold I am the Lord of glory I was crucified for the world that all those who believe on my name may have Eternal life.'" (Joseph Smith's first vision, 1832 account)
"And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives! For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father— That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created." (Doctrine & Covenants 76:22-24)

The testimony of Joseph Smith is not a testimony of an extraordinary man, an man worthy of veneration (beyond the admiration we ought to give to those who humbly, obediently give all they have to the God they love). It is a testimony of the Father and Son that he bears. When I read these words, I know that God lives. I know that I can be forgiven of my sins. I know that I can find peace and strength beyond my own through the grace of the Atonement.

In the end, it's not a testimony of the man himself that we should obtain, but of his testimony of God/Jesus. As we come to know God, we will recognize the truthfulness of the witness that Joseph Smith bears. Because the words of Joseph Smith provide such a true testimony of God and of Jesus, we can know that he was called of God.

"Endure it well"

Life has been tough lately. Like really really tough. I don't really want to get into the details, except that it's been hard for several weeks now, and sometimes I wonder: "When is it ever going to get better? Haven't I suffered enough? Haven't I learned what I was supposed to?"

The answer that came to me this morning was this: I don't know when. But I know it will get better. It's not going to be like this forever.

I really do believe that God could take this pain away if he wanted. He's done it before in other experiences. I believe in miracles.

But he hasn't. Leaving me wondering, as Joseph Smith in his prison cell, "How long...?" (D&C 121:2)

This talk has given me the best answer: "if certain mortal experiences were cut short, it would be like pulling up a flower to see how the roots are doing. Put another way, too many anxious openings of the oven door, and the cake falls instead of rising."

We may want certain trials to end long before God has planned for them to end. If they did end earlier, we might miss out on the chance to develop so many different virtues that can only be developed through long, slow, painful endurance.

"Patient endurance permits us to cling to our faith in the Lord and our faith in His timing when we are being tossed about by the surf of circumstance. Even when a seeming undertow grasps us, somehow, in the tumbling, we are being carried forward, though battered and bruised."

I really do believe this will all allow me to be a more faithful, humble, patient and compassionate person one day, the wonderful person that God has intended me to become. So I continue to trust in God. I trust in His timing, and I trust that this will get better.

and I keep reading this talk because it inspires me. :)

Choose ye this day...

I taught Relief Society today. My final testimony, the most powerful thing I believe I said was this: Sometimes in life, things don't go the way you want them to. This can be disappointing or heartbreaking. When you can't choose to change your circumstance, you have two options: you can either choose to believe (believe it will get better, believe God has a plan) or choose not to.

JUST BELIEVE!! It may not take away your trial, but it will make it easier to get through.

Grace

Several weeks, I passed through a particularly rough patch in my personal life. I was worried about the future, about my love life, about my family...it seemed everything was falling apart even though I was trying so hard to do the right thing. I was trying to be strong enough to face it all on my own and not to rely on anyone else, but I got to the point where I realized I couldn't do it on my own and needed to rely on someone else's strength. That someone ended up being God.
Over the next few weeks, as I prayed, the sorrows and pains that once stung grew less and less, and hope and joy returned to my life. In all the challenges life throws my way, I have learned I can make it through then if I rely on God's strength rather than my own. Indeed, I say: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." -Philippians 4:13

Tis it already the season?

Some say not yet, but how can it not always be Christmas season when such beautiful songs exist?!? The miracle of Christmas is Jesus Christ, and he should be celebrated year round.
(I'm definitely on a Piano Guys kick right now, but ain't that the beauty of suggested videos on youtube!)

As a tree planted by the waters

A verse of scripture that stood out to me lately:

"Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit." (Jeremiah 17:7-8). 

A drought can represent many things in our lives -  a spiritual drought when God seems far from us or answers to our prayers slow to a trickle; a temporal drought when no matter how hard we try there aren't enough time/resources to get everything done or to make ends meet. God doesn't promise life will be easy if we stay by him, but he does promise that we will survive these hard times and that he, the Living Water, will be the one to nourish us through them, if we but rely on him.

Every time life gets tough and stressful, I remind myself that I've been able to make it through everything so far. More importantly, though, I remind myself that if I trust in God and choose not to give space to my fears and worries, he will give me the peace, assurance, and strength to carry onward.

Redemption

Yesterday, I had a beautiful moment talking with my father. We talked about the nature of parenting and how the success of a parent is reflected in the type of person your children become. He told me he thinks of me as a particularly grateful child - grateful to be alive, not wanting to be a financial burden on the family, feeling guilty that they had to sell our childhood home to put me through college.

I was shocked. I've never been described as grateful by my parents. I've always felt they think of me as ungrateful - or lazy or spoiled or selfish or stubborn or unhelpful or uncooperative or disrespectful. Because, truth be told, I have been all of those things - more so when I was a child/teenager, but even now to a lesser degree. I knew they loved me because they had to, but I didn't think it was me, the person, that they loved, just the unconditional love that a parent has for their child.

Through that one comment, I was able to see more clearly what my dad saw when he looked at me. Not a perfect child, but a very good one. One who was trying hard to be a good daughter. One who loved and appreciated her parents. One who was no longer so belligerent or uncooperative as she once was. I was forgiven, I was allowed to reach a new potential, and I recognized that I am no longer the child I was.

As we forgive each other and ourselves, we can, as I did in that moment, love ourselves more freely and free ourselves from the shackles of who we once were. That spark of divinity that is beneath the surface of all of us shines through and we become something more wonderful. I could not feel this forgiveness so freely in my life if it were not for God's grace, and I will always proclaim, as Alma, "what joy, and what marvelous light" (Alma 36:20), fill my soul when I humbly ask God for forgiveness for the many small ways I am daily falling short..